Some musings…

It was not easy to submit my thesis.

My heart rate quickened yesterday when the guy at FedEx said I had to leave it overnight.  Will they treat it with care? I panicked.  What if they lose it?  Get the pages out of order?  Crumple a page?  Spill coffee on it?  I bit my lip in an effort not to ask too many insulting questions.  These are professionals, right?  Just let them do their job.

I picked it up today, happy to see it, gave it a secret little hug when nobody was looking.  It looked so professional in its vello binding, clear front cover and smart black back cover.  It was ready to take on the world. 

We got in the car and drove into New York.  As we crossed the GWB, I couldn’t help but give it a mental pep talk.  It’s a big city, but you’ll be just fine.  Of course you’ll make friends.  You’re ready for this next step, baby.

When I got to the writing office, I asked if it would be available at the thesis reading next week.  “Sorry,” the program director told me.  “One goes into archives and one stays in the writing office.  Just bring a printout of what you’re going to share at the reading.”

“So… you mean… I’ll never see it again?”

He gave me a sympathetic look.  “I know.  I felt the same way when I delivered the manuscript of my first book to Simon & Schuster.”

It wasn’t easy to leave the thesis behind.  Of course we had our differences (what writer and her work haven’t?), but we always made up in the end.  My hands felt light and my heart felt heavy as I left the writing office and rejoined the masses on the city sidewalks.  But in my heart, I knew the thesis had to go experience life on its own.  It had to see what it can do in the world. 

At least I got this picture before I left.  I think the thesis was a little embarrassed to take it in front of its new thesis friends, but I wasn’t going to let it go without something to remember it by.

Oh yeah… and then I went and printed out another copy to keep for myself.

Happy Mother’s Day!